Mindset is Everything

I used to think that in order to be happy, everything in my life had to be perfect. My business had to be thriving, my relationships had to be seamless, and I had to be mentally, emotionally, and physically in the best shape of my life. If one piece was off, then the whole damn puzzle was ruined. At least, that’s what I told myself.

Last year was hard for me. I was stuck in a cycle of ups and downs, trying to control everything in my life. I was gripping so tightly onto things I had no business trying to control. When things didn’t go my way, I spiraled. I hyper-focused on the negative. I played out every worst-case scenario in my head like it was a damn Netflix series I couldn’t stop binge-watching. It was easier to sit in the negativity because it was familiar. It felt safe, even though it was suffocating me. Every time I was told “no,” I felt instantly powerless, worthless, and insecure. About mmm, August 2024 I finally hit bottom and I didn’t come back up until December 2024. I had never had that long of a low stretch before. I talked to my therapist about the pressure of everything on my plate: cleaning the house, laundry, dishes, my job, my business, paying bills, cooking healthy meals, grocery shopping, trying to workout and get my steps in, go to therapy, you get the idea. Basic things were feeling so overwhelming and it was hard to get anything done. She told me to give myself grace and maybe take a break.

Take a break? LOL. Like, I am allowed to do that?

So I did.

In December 2024, things started to shift for me finally, for the better.

I started therapy over a year ago. I had to unpack a lot of things…. things I didn’t even realize I was carrying, and honestly, things I realized effected me more than I knew. And let me tell you, that work isn’t easy. It’s like standing in front of a mirror with fluorescent lighting and having to look at every single thing you don’t like about yourself. But I did it. Week after week, I sat there and put in the work.

Then, I stumbled across Gem Goddess on YouTube. And before you roll your eyes, hear me out. Her videos on awareness and manifesting completely altered the way I thought about my own power. I realized that I had been manifesting my entire life… I was just doing it wrong. I was constantly putting energy into what could go wrong, rather than into what could go right. I wasn’t creating the life I wanted, I was reinforcing the fears I already had. Focusing on the negative instead of choosing to focus on the positive.

She became part of my morning routine. Every day, when I’d get on the treadmill to get my steps in, I’d turn on one of her readings. And without fail, it was like she was speaking directly to me. One day, she said something that hit me like a truck: This past year, you have had this overwhelming feeling of lack—lacking in mental health, lacking physically, lacking in your business, lacking in energy…

And that was exactly how I had been feeling up until December.

But then she said something else: This year, you will be really diving into your spirituality. You will develop stronger connections—with others and, most importantly, with yourself. Your self-love will grow and prosper. You will finally step into your power.

And that stuck with me.

Every card reading I did with her videos was in line with the last. Every single one felt like an energy shift and like it fit my life almost too perfectly without her ever even speaking to me personally. It was like the universe was screaming at me: It’s time to change. It’s time to choose yourself.

So, I finally decided to listen.

I changed my routine. I changed my mindset. And slowly, everything changed with it.

I started practicing actual gratitude. Not just the “write three things you’re grateful for” and move on kind, but real, deep appreciation for everything I had. The small things. My morning coffee. The light that pours into my studio at the perfect time of day. The quiet moments when I’m alone and content. My most favorite part of my day is the quiet morning when I get up at 4:00am and sit in my room reading or journaling while drinking my coffee. I have become so thankful for that moment, every single day, and it makes me excited to get out of bed every day.

I started controlling what I actually could control—my energy, my reactions, my thoughts, my tasks day to day.

And I learned to let go of what I couldn’t.

Well… I am trying to anyway. That’s still hard for me. Because letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you trust that things will unfold the way they’re supposed to. It means you stop forcing and start allowing. And if you’re a recovering control freak like me, you know how terrifying that is.

But it’s also freeing as hell.

And before anyone starts calling this toxic positivity, let me make something clear: I still feel everything. I still get sad. I still get frustrated. I still have days where my anxiety creeps up, uninvited, and makes itself comfortable. But I don’t dwell there anymore. I don’t let those feelings set up camp in my head and stay rent-free. I feel them, I acknowledge them, and then I move forward.

Because this world? It’s loud. It’s overwhelming. Politically, socially—there’s always something pulling at your energy, trying to get you to sink into the chaos. And I refuse. I refuse to let my emotions be dictated by the noise. I refuse to live in a state of stress and fear. I refuse to let negativity win anymore.

So, if you’re reading this and you feel stuck, if you feel like your mind has been working against you instead of for you, I want you to know that you have the power to change that. You don’t have to wait for everything in your life to be perfect to start feeling good. You don’t have to sit in the struggle just because it’s what you’re used to.

You can take back control. You can choose to shift your mindset.

And I promise you, when you do? Everything will change.

If this resonates with you, come hang out in my private group. Message me. Let’s talk. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

Special thanks to my husband & my best friends for being my support system through everything.

Til next time.

xo,

Kearstyn