Unmasking the Struggles: Women, Mental Health, and the Journey to Self-Care
In a world where expectations, demands, and societal pressures continue to shape our lives, women often find themselves at the crossroads of immense strength and silent struggle. We are supposed to be everything, yet rarely are we allowed to be ourselves. Mental health, an issue often undervalued, takes center stage in this blog post, as we explore the burdens and expectations placed upon us and the ways we can navigate them.
The Silent Battles:
The modern woman, a juggler of many roles, faces relentless expectations. Some are placed on us by society, others by our spouses, and even ourselves. We're urged to be productive, to always improve, to meet ideals perpetuated by society, and to pursue the elusive work-life balance all to achieve the “American Dream.” Which, in my opinion, is called a dream because it will never be a reality for most. These pressures take a toll on our mental health, leading to stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. Our battles often remain unseen, internalized as we continue to perform our daily routines.
It is often rare that you can share your experiences with others in this society unless you’re willing to fork over hundreds of dollars a month to see a qualified therapist. Your family, your friends, your spouse, your co-workers - everyone has their OWN silent battle, too. Sometimes, you feel totally alone, unable to confide in anyone due to this overwhelming sense of fear of not just rejection, but burdening someone else.
Well, you’re not alone. And I am here if you need to talk. Because really, sometimes that is all we need. A listening ear. No judgment, no bias opinions, no fear of being rejected or told that your feelings are invalid.
Throughout this blog, though, I will discuss ways in which I have personally found ways to improve my own mental health and well-being as a modern woman and how you can do the same.
Let’s talk about productivity… because, well, it plays a huge role in our mental health in this country. Did you know that this idea that being “productive” and “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is an American thing? Yeah, this isn’t super prevalent in societies where people generally value their mental health. And especially as women, we may not always prioritize our well-being because we're conditioned to put others first. The internalized burden of being everything to everyone can erode our mental health. It's crucial to recognize that self-care and mental health are not selfish but essential.
We're expected to be assertive but not too aggressive, nurturing but not smothering, successful but not threatening. Navigating these waters can feel like a minefield. It's time to acknowledge these disparities and break free from their constraints.
So what can we do to improve our mental health and our lives?
It begins with self-care. It means saying 'no' when necessary, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help when needed, if you can afford it. It means practicing mindfulness, embracing self-compassion, and redefining success on our terms. It's time to understand that self-care isn't a luxury but a necessity.
Lifestyle Tips for a Better Life:
Prioritize Mental Health: Make mental health a priority in your life. Take regular breaks, seek therapy if needed, and practice mindfulness to manage stress.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say 'no' and establish healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy.
Embrace Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and learn from your setbacks without self-criticism.
Define Success for Yourself: Success is a personal journey. Define what it means to you, not what society expects of you.
Support and Connection: Reach out to your support network. Share your struggles and seek guidance from friends, family, or support groups. You can join my VIP Boudoir group full of supportive and amazing women too to find a sense of community.
Positive Guidance and Thinking: Our mental well-being is deeply influenced by the thoughts and beliefs we hold. Positive guidance and thinking can significantly improve our overall well-being. Cultivate a mindset that appreciates small victories, fosters self-compassion, and redefines success in terms of happiness and fulfillment rather than societal standards.
I am going to dive deeper on the last one…
This past year, I really struggled. I was in the darkest headspace mentally, everything was bad, nothing felt good anymore. I didn’t allow myself to feel good, I didn’t think I should feel good, I didn’t think I really deserved to feel good.
I was going through the motions of life without actually living it. I know if you’ve made it this far reading this blog, you know the feeling.
It took a lot to pull myself out of that, and even some days are still a struggle. Its like I mentioned above, we are under constant pressure. It is important to find things that bring us happiness and joy, even in the mundane, day-to-day routines.
So, here is what I did…
Of course, I followed the steps above. But this is what those steps meant to me:
Starting journaling. I did this to track my mood to see if I felt differently after implementing different foods, routines, etc. I did this when I first got up in the morning, and before I went to bed.
Making task lists for my day, but I made sure to write in things that made me happy and excited. Schedule time for that, its so important.
Reading self help books that motivate me and light my brain on fire in the mornings. I first read Atmoic Habits, and that really just solidified many of these habits for me. I highly recommend that book! I also am reading Super Attractor. This book has really helped me change negative thoughts on a dime. It helped me to see that there is beauty in the mundane, life doesnt have to be this luxurious beautiful exciting thing all the time to find happiness, and you can manifest the absolute f out of your dreams and not work yourself into the ground doing it.
Working out first thing in the morning! This was SO crucial to starting my day right. I also hired a coach. She made a world of difference in my journey. I am someone that NEEDS to be held accountable, and this was the best decision ever. Working out consistently has changed my mindset dramatically.
Walking - I get more steps in on average than I ever used to. Now, its become so habitual, I hate missing it.
Eating healthier (or trying to). I hate cooking, but this has really helped me stick to my goals, keep a positive attitude, and feel better.
Drinking water! This one is important.
LIMITING my alcohol consumption! Wow, this one… this one right here probably made one of the biggest differences for me. Alcohol is a downer, as you may know, but what most people dont know is how long it stays in your system after its consumed…. It can be anywhere from 48-72 hours +. This can effect literally everything else in your body for that time being because your body is trying to get this toxin removed from your system, and that is its sole function. Alcohol is a liar - don’t trust it to make you feel better. It’s really just a bandaid that can effect your mental and physical well being for the long haul.
Focusing on myself, not others. I stopped comparing myself to people on IG, and started thinking about what I wanted. Like, defining my own success, what that meant to me, who I am, and who I want to be.
I started saying NO to anything that didn’t fit the vision I have of who I am and want to be… Setting boundaries. It is still hard to stay firm in those boundaries, but hey, we’re all a work in progress.
I truly hope this blog post helps some of you ladies reading this. I hope even more that if you are struggling, you reach out to someone, anyone, and/or seek professional help if needed.
Our mental health is just as much a priority as our physical health.
Signed,
Your favorite boudoir photographer <3